Construction of self is a funny thing. It’s quite clear that many people don’t do it: they appear to proceed daily without any apparent need to assess how they interface with the world. I still find myself doing quite tortuous empathic calculations about how someone might feel in response to what I’m about to do or say, and then still very often getting it wrong. Which I suppose uses up quite a lot of mental energy. That’s it really. If that sense of how to interact comes naturally then I suppose you have significant spare energy for other stuff. I still look back on things I’ve said and wonder who it was that was saying them. I wonder if I’d even like to meet that person, let alone have anything more sustained to do with them. It applies to things I’ve written as well as things I’ve said, but not as much. With writing, you at least have that time to think offline, recompose… before it goes live.
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3 Comments
If only one could pause, rewind and recompose real life, eh? I suffer with foot-firmly-in-mouth disease too. My hope is that most of those I interact with on a regular basis are comfortably aware of how I am. And gracefully accepting.
I also say sorry more times in a day than I dare to count.
I think that someone as eloquent as you should worry less and let things naturally flow. It IS possible. Have you read The Celestine Prophecy? The human interaction part of that is very interesting.
I love the written word because my recall isn’t so hot. And I do like to relive experiences – good AND bad. They say women tend to over-analyse things.
Flowing I have always had trouble with. Problem is, working on it doesn’t necessarily do the job. Have to to let go and not be so conscious of self. Hmm. Paradoxically I am working on it. Thanks for the kind words. Not read “The Celestine Prophecy”. I’ll give it a go.
Think of it like this. You do a job that would make a million otherwise confident folks recoil in horror. Now review your own status in the whole self-conscious debate.
I couldn’t do it. Boardman 1, Blinky 0.
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